1. Ah never could understand choose 'ow much I tried
Exactly just how it were done;
Dippin’ them sheep into that stinkin’ beck,
Slappin’ their starns till they run;
I made a mess on it there where I tried
On that greasy bank where I slipped;
Fell into sheep hoil an’ nearly got drowned,
An’ so it was me who got dipped.

Chorus

Mary, oh Mary please come home to me
Expects to go crazy wi' lis’nin' to thee
If tha gets murdered, then ah shall get hung
A’hl hev t’ put up wi’ thi natterin’ tongue.

2. Been wearin’ this shirt an’ these owd woollen pants,
Since tha went away th’ other week.
Could do we a wesh but can’t get watter warm
I’m grubby and stinks like a seak;
Then thers’ th’owd dog, well, he owt ta be washed,
Then there’s this frowsy owd cat.
All gettin’ lowsy no doubt about that,
We’ve all on us started to scratch.

3. I never knew how tha managed at all,
To deal wi’ this awkward owd cow.
As soon as she sees me she tosses her head,
An’ starts to kick up a row.
Then she stands still an’ lets me get on,
I gets a good milkin’ pan full.
Then she kicks out, there’s milk all o’er floor,
An’ then she hollers for t’bull.
 
4. I thought it wor time I got ploughin’ agean,
In th’rough in that owd bottom lea,
Tho’ blade wor rusty I started all right,
But I cannot do it like thee.
First th’ handle flew up, I’ve a lovely black eye,
Owd t’ plough it went an’ got stuck.
Th’owd hoss wont budge ‘cos her’s casting a shoe,
We’re both on us plastered in muck.

5. I went round to th’ hen hoil to see what wer’ up,
To clean ‘em straighten up th’ pens.
Door wor all stuck an’ all th’ floor plastered up,
Ther’ were really no room for th’ hens.
They’ve gone into th’ parlour wi’ two cocks an’ all,
But I can’t blame ‘em for that.
I now tha wont like it ‘em laying their eggs,
There in thi best Sunda’ hat.

6. I wish I could boil up this swill tub like thee,
Tha’s handy at muckin’ pigs aht.
Here I am most pestered to death,
Don't even no where to start.
Ther’s ten in this litter all screamin’ like mad,
Fratchin’ an’ fighting to suck.
Th’ t'owd sow's in swill tub I can’t get her out,
An’ I’m over th’ ankles in muck.

Tommy Daniel