1. I travel the country applying my trade,
In hamlet and village and town,
A-pushing a portable sharpening stone,
I am a man of renown.
I call at each place only once a year
And you will hear the folks say,
Get out your knives and your scissors to grind
The old rogue is coming this way.

Chorus

Knives to grind, scissors to grind
I turn the wheel and the stone I will wind
And if you good folks here will be so kind
And bring me your knives and your scissors to grind.

2. The fishmonger tells me he’s good knives to grind
But cash is so tight he will say,
He offers to barter some fish for the job
For trade is so bad he can’t pay.
He gives me the choice of old kippers or woof
And cod that’s as tough as a shoe.
I tell him I don’t want that old stinking stuff
A nice piece of haddock will do.

3. The butcher he greets me just like an old friend
A jovial fellow is he
He tells me the scandal on who’s gone astray
The number of mothers to be.
He hands me his knives and his cleavers to grind
Then pays up cheerfully
He takes his knife with a wish of good luck
And cuts a rump steak for my tea.
 
4. I call at a tailor who grumbles at me
Reminds of some debt I owe
He tells me its time the job was paid off
Will I do something to show?
He made me these trousers near ten years ago
A pity they started to fray
I’ve sharpened his scissors for nine of those years
So I’ve only got one more to pay.

5. Then there’s a row at the cobblers next door
Wife says he’s an old shirk
There is a shop full of boots he should mend
The lazy old bugger wont work.
He throws the last at her, she throws it back
Then he throws the knives right at me,
His wife she pays me the swearing goes on
With words all beginning with B–––!

6. I call at a cottage away from the rest
The lady is expecting me
I shove my machine in the shed for the night
The nice butchers steak for our tea.
She is my sweetheart when I’m round this way
She is so gentle and kind
The beds in the corner, she gives me a smile
Then pays for her scissors to grind.

Tommy Daniel